Sassing and Shoving your way through an Italian Renaissance Museum

Saw lots of Italian renaissance era art in Milan today and when all the religious imagery starts to get a bit much for us we end up making up silly captions for the paintings.  Wanna see?  If you're Christian I apologize in advance and hope you find me irreverent and silly instead of insulting.  That's the spirit these were meant in anyway.

Also at the museum was a video showing an elaborate restoration of a cartoon for the School of Athens fresco by Raphael.  Watching it, I decided that I want to be an art restorer who painstakingly cleans dust off masterpieces in Italy (and also get a blunt haircut, hip glasses, lab coat and cool shoes like the girl in the video.)  My family thinks this is ridiculous however, since it is essentially a job where you do a lot of cleaning, which they were quick to point out, is not really my specialty when we are at home.

"But I can lie on a specially built platform above a priceless work of art and swirl a q-tip in circles too," I said.

"Those people are trained, mum," says Sophie.

"Job requirements: Can you swirl a q-tip in circles?  You can?  Do you have cool shoes? You're hired." I say.

"Mum! They know stuff. It's more than swirling."

"Hey, there's also people that shove the platform along sometimes." (Hannah).

"What?"

"See that bit?  Once they're done a section, they have, like, people that shove the platform a foot down so they can swirl more," Hannah explains.

"Right."

"You could shove.  You're good at shoving."  The girls agree on this point.

"Thanks girls, I feel loved."